Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of :
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
Hop on a boat
A FREE HOUSE!
already given away hundreds of millions of
dollars and thousands of dream
homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The Australian Taxpayer.
don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English:
include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at
$800 a week and a chance to earn thousands
more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at
This competition is open to everyone.
Buy a ticket to Indonesia and catch the first available boat.
No application ever refused..
reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you enter Australian waters, and remember the magic password...
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia's gateway, where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips and on to luxury accommodation.
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia.
Our most popular destinations include the world famous Christmas Island resort.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience.
Just apply for legal aid
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counselors are waiting to help.
It won't cost
you a cent.
It could change your life forever.
So play today
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...
COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the Indonesia fishing ports.
Don't stop in Thailand or Bali..
Go straight to Australia
And you are:
one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play