I said recently that my writing might be coming to an end. My husband and I
prayed about this, and we believe that we heard from the Lord that I have been
called to write in these last days – but that I must listen carefully for His
voice when I need to rest.
A reader of my articles wrote to me today and ended her email with something so precious and true – I knew that the Lord had moved on her heart to send it to me. Here it is:
The Loneliness of the Christian by A. W. Tozer
“The Loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because, within his circle of friends, there are so few who share his inner experiences, he is forced to walk alone.
The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding cause them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.
The man [or woman] who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. He finds few who care to talk about that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the reputation of being dull and over-serious, so he is avoided and the gulf between him and society widens.
He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none, he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.
It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.”
When I finished reading this heartfelt teaching from Tozer, I broke down in tears. Not from sadness but from joy that God had seen my state of extreme loneliness; and because He loves me as He does, He directed this sister in Christ to send me such truth and comfort.
It felt like a hug from God.
But then I noticed something even more precious. A. W. Tozer had bolded this sentence:
“It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God.” And he ends with this:
“His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.”
Brethren, I truly cannot express what these words from A.W. Tozer meant to me. My husband and I have not had a church home in quite a while. I have talked about the things which happened in various churches, so I do not need to write them again.
But this I will say: In most churches of which we became a part – even when the preaching was sound and thorough, I did feel so alone in the midst of most in the congregation. I knew that most found me hard to be around, and I knew that I was ostracized by many for being too zealous – too serious for the things of God. I wanted to tell others what Jesus had been doing in my life.
Of course, there were a few who shared my zeal for our Saviour, but that was the exception and not the rule.
I knew that I was considered by many to be a “Jesus freak,’ and that is so very sad to even think about. We were there to worship our Redeemer, our Saviour, our Jesus! So yes, I experienced the words of Tozer in the midst of the congregation.
But recently I have pondered this loneliness and have spoken to God in prayer about it. I have come to Him and just sat quietly in my sadness. Those are the sweetest times, not just for me, but for our Lord as well. I find in His presence the peace that does pass all understanding.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, KJV).
I realize that NOTHING can replace my time with Him. Not even the most godly saint – although it is so glorious to share my heart with such people, it cannot come close to talking with my Lord and Saviour who ever waits for me to finally turn to Him in my anguish.
As we walk this earth as children of God, it is inevitable that we are at times “wounded,” and the most stinging of these wounds seems to come from the brethren. We are still battling our flesh. We all make mistakes. It will not be until we receive our Glorified bodies that we will finally be free from sin and hurt and pain.